Kenosis

Kenosis is the Greek verb, "To Empty." Recently a professor sent me from class with the task of going out in the world and having a kenosis experience, an emptying experience. I was to find some way to empty myself of possessions with the intended result being to bless someone with a greater understanding of Christ's emptying seen in Philippians 2:5-12. I spent time in prayer, seeking God's will and asking exactly what I was to give up. What was I holding unto closer than God, holding in love and reverence perhaps even higher than God. It took very little time for me to hear my answer. It was not stated in the form of a question, it was a fact. "You are going to give up you jacket tomorrow."

Now maybe your thinking I got an easy out. "Giving away your jacket? That's not bad, at least it isn't your laptop, or your car, or your ect." While I was very grateful I didn't have to give away my car or computer, I was equally disappointed I did have to give away my jacket. You see to me jackets are everything. They provide the exterior of your outfit, after your face they are the first thing people notice. While I don't care too much about most of my wardrobe I do care a great deal about my jackets. A good jacket on a cold day is better than a friend in my book. In fact I've often worn jackets on sweltering hot days just because I would rather someone see me in the jacket than in whatever t-shirt I'm wearing. Not only was I being asked to give up my favorite category of clothing items, I was being asked to give up my newest jacket. You see I was wearing my nice week old pine green jacket recently purchased for me by my mother on a trip home. It was new, it was semi-sentimental, and it was getting me a lot of complements. So I pondered, maybe I should just wear a different jacket tomorrow, maybe I should not wear a jacket because it sure is hot out there, maybe I'm miss hearing God. However, I knew that any action other than wearing my green jacket the next day would be a clear sign of disobedience. So it was settled.

As I threw my jacket on the next day I sent up a second quick prayer, "Am I really going to have to give away this jacket today?" I asked, in an honestly pathetic and materialistic manner. The answer, "No." Well now I was real confused, I didn't know if I was simply talking to myself or if I was hearing what I wanted to hear. I struck out for work and as I walked from my parking spot to the little bakery that pays my bills I was ready at every alley way and every corner for the man that would want my jacket. It was hot though, it was one of those sweltering hot days that I should not have been wearing a jacket on and there wasn't a needy soul in sight. I made it, worked my shift, headed back to my car and all the time never saw anybody that needed my jacket. I was asking about everyone on the street in my head, "that person?" "no" "that person over there?" "no" "well what about that guy?" "no." I never once felt even a nudge that somebody was supposed to have my jacket. This really threw me for a loop. I had been certain some homeless man freezing half to death was gonna need my jacket to see the wonders and generosity of Christ through me and he would turn his life around and become the most dramatic ugly duckling story to ever hit the front pages of "Christians Weekly." But there was no one.

At this point I settled that I could either go straight home and put this whole matter behind me, or go to a college worship night being held across town. I opted for the latter, honestly just because I wanted to see some friends that would be there, and drove on over. The worship was great, the community even better, and as I felt myself slipping into genuine worship and love of God I felt a little nudge. The kind of nudge that is less of a feeling of needing to do something and more of a little nudge to say, "good job, objective complete." I remembered what I had been thinking about all day, and what God told me I was going to do. "You are going to give UP your jacket..." I was never going to give it away in the literal sense. I was giving it up. Giving it up to God, relinquishing my tight held grip on it and putting God before it. In worship I had reached a point where I thought, "I honestly could care less about this jacket right now, all I care about is being in God's presence." and that was what God was asking me to do. To give up my possessions position before him and remember just to adore God alone.

A tad bit of a strange experience for sure, it was easy and most of the work came unnecessarily as I sought to serve God in a way He never intended me to do. However, at the end of the day my priorities were set straight. God is a jealous God, He will not tolerate worship of objects, possessions and people beside Him, because nothing else even compares. A good and healthy reminder, and I'm glad it came in a simple subtle way and not in a much more dramatic and eventful way. The blessings of assignments that make you attentive early on to your problems. I emptied my desire to hold onto my possessions and again was able to hold them with open empty hands.




P.S. After writing this article (and when I mean after, I mean literally within the hour) I read from a book on prayer and the chapter I was on was called Relinquishing Prayers. The chapter talked about prayers of letting go and relinquishing our grip on our possessions and even had the phrase Kenosis in it. It talked about Kenosis prayers and more relinquishing prayers in much more detail than this story will tell you. I was awed by the "coincidence" and so I decided to put this little post-script here to say that if you are interested in an incredible source for more information on this idea, check out Prayer: Finding the Hearts True Home by Richard Foster. It is a great source on many types of prayers and is filled with many personal experiences and much wisdom.